


The Many Rooms of The Bunker

by BabysDean



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bottom Castiel, Coming Out, Cursed objects, Food Kink, Friends to Lovers, Hand Jobs, Happy Ending, Impala, Impala Sex, Light Bondage, M/M, Men of Letters Bunker, Prank Wars, Smut, Top Dean, finding happiness, look at all the smut I give you!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-12
Updated: 2017-10-12
Packaged: 2019-01-16 10:29:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 20,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12340884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BabysDean/pseuds/BabysDean
Summary: Cas means a lot to Dean.He means so much, that Dean is willing to go a long way to make his friend happy.And maybe, along the way, he might find that the things that make Cas happy can make him, well... very, VERY happy...





	1. The Stairs

Chapter 1 - The Stairs

When Cas came back to the bunker, he looked… defeated. Deflated. Shoulders slumped and face down, and Dean felt a pang of pain at the state of the angel.  
Cas was slouched at the door frame, tiredly looking up as the door opened, and without a word Dean moved slightly away to allow him to enter.

“Hey, Cas, buddy, what’s wrong? What happened?” Dean’s brows were furrowed in worry.  
For a moment, as Cas met his gaze, his eyes seemed to brighten up a little. “Dean…” he said with a small smile that faded as soon as the name was uttered, to shift back to his previous gloomy state. “I couldn’t do it…” he mumbled. “I couldn’t…” he was unable to complete.  
Dean took him into a warm hug and lightly brushed the back of his neck.  
“It’s fine, Cas, whatever it is, we’ll deal with it. You’re home now. Let’s get you cleaned up and rested, and then you can tell me all about it. I’m sure we can work it out.”  
Cas gave him a weak nod and Dean placed his hand under Cas’ arm to support him as they moved towards the stairs.  
“Dean, I am in good physical shape. I can walk just fine.” Cas seemed confused at the gesture, but did not move to push Dean’s hand away.  
“Sorry..” Dean blinked with a faint grin and let go, starting down the stairs.  
“Home…” Cas muttered as if to himself, and Dean’s grin grew wider, proud that the angel feels he could call the bunker home.  
“Yea, Cas, whatever happens, you will always have a home here.”  
“With you?” Cas was walking behind Dean, a little straighter as he spoke.  
“With us.” Dean confirmed. “You’re family. You know that.”  
Cas stopped, and Dean turned to look at him as he was almost at the bottom of the stairs, to make sure Cas was ok and following him.  
“Family…” Cas muttered again, but unlike before, his gaze was more distant now, deprived of any mirth.  
“Cas…” Dean tried, “What’s wrong?”  
Cas gave him a look as if seeing him for the first time. His face split in a huge smile in total contrast to his previous demeanour as he said “I have missed you, Dean.”  
“Yeah, buddy, me too.” Dean turned to him completely now. “Are you sure you are all right?”  
Cas took another step and landed on the stair right above the one Dean was standing on, too close for the hunter’s comfort, but Dean didn’t care all that much at the angel’s proximity. “Of course, Dean. I am now among… loved ones..”. He glanced up at the shut bunker door, then back at Dean. “Is this…” he hesitated. “Is this where I belong, Dean? With you?” his eyes held more than the mere literal question, searching Dean’s face for the approval he needed.  
“Sure, Cas, with us.” Dean placed a hand at Cas’ shoulder in an attempt to comfort his friend.  
“With YOU, Dean.” the angel punctuated with a helpless look. He staggered a little closer, looking down at Dean and bracing himself on Dean’s shoulders for support.  
“Cas, where is this coming from right now? What the hell happened?”  
When Dean didn’t push away, Cas’ eyes rolled as if he was about to faint, but he came crashing down on Dean aiming directly at the hunter’s lips.  
It took Dean a minute for his action to seep through, but when it did he immediately pushed away.  
“Cas! What the fuck??” Dean did not let go of the angel, too worried Cas might fall down if he did, but he turned his head away as far as possible. “What are you doing, man?? Have you completely lost it??”  
Cas pushed himself away from Dean. He turned to round Dean and walk away into the bunker, but Dean’s hand was still clutching his shoulder.  
“Cas!” Dean’s voice boomed again, his hand tightening on the other man’s shoulder. “You wanna tell me what the fuck is going on?”  
“No.” Was all the reply Cas gave him. “Not right now, anyway. I’m tired.”  
“Dude, you can’t just suck a guy’s lips then walk away!” Dean called after him. “CAS!!”

Dean found Cas several hours later in the guest bedroom, sprawled on the bed fully clothed and staring at nothing.  
“Cas, you wanna tell me what this is about?”  
Dean was calm now. Whatever reason Cas had to… do what he did… he was sure there was a good explanation.  
The angel looked up at him and sighed.  
“I can’t do anything right.” he said. “I feel… useless.”  
“You’re not useless, Cas, don’t ever say that.” Dean frowned. “No one can win all the time. You win some you lose some. Don’t -”  
“Dean!” Cas cut him short. “I have managed to make every wrong decision in the past few years, fail every mission, make a mess of everything I have touched.” Cas spoke in anger. “I am not ‘losing some’, as you so generously put it, I have been consistently and colossally ruining everything.” He sighed and continued with a beaten tone. “For Sam and you, too. I have lost you so many battles I am ashamed to count them. And now you.”  
“Cas…” Dean tried.  
“No, Dean, let me finish.” Cas glared at him, eyes shining in the dim light of the room. “I was silly enough to believe that I might find relief with you. Not forgiveness, I would not dare to ask you that, but comfort maybe. A sense of belonging. But I do not mean to you what you do to me. And I have ruined that as well.” He turned to face the wall, away from Dean.  
“Cas, you mean a lot to me,” Dean said, “you’re my best friend.” He gently tugged at the angel’s trench coat to coerce him to turn and face him again.  
“Just not what I wish to be.” Cas’ reply was muffled by blankets, and Dean thought he might be hiding a waver in his voice.  
“Just not what you wish to be…” Dean admitted with a reserved tone.  
“Cas…”  
“Dean, don’t. Please.” Cas stopped him. “There is nothing you can say further to ease this.”  
Then, after a thought, he turned to look at Dean. “You knew.” He stated simply, but to Dean it sounded more like an accusation. “That I loved you, you knew.” he paused. A thin silence stretched between them for a while. “After hell, I have tended and cared to every atom, every cell in your body. I have seen your soul, Dean, and I have fallen for you from the moment I lay my grace upon you. I have died for you, and I would do so again a thousand times, until there is nothing left of me to restore.”  
“I would give my life for you any day, Cas, you have to know that…”  
“Do not play dumb with me, Dean Winchester, I know you to be an intelligent man!” a shiver went down Dean’s spine at Cas’ words. “I would give up everything for you, not just for your survival, Dean, but for your happiness, too. I love you.” It was a simple truth, but a painful one, all the same.  
Dean averted his eyes from Cas’ consuming glare. “I know…”  
They sat in silence for some time.  
“What you did before, on the stairs… would that…” Dean struggled with what he wanted to say, “do you think that could make you happy?...” he asked Cas quietly.  
“I don’t know.” was Cas’ honest reply.  
They stayed like that for a few more minutes, Dean fidgeting with his hands and Cas staring into some spot on the wall, and then Dean wiped his hands nervously on his jeans and got up. “I’ll, uh… I’ll let you rest now. Come out when you’re ready. I’ll see you later.”  
And with that, he left.

Dean spent the next few days avoiding Cas as much as he could, and it seems Cas did the same. When they did run into each other, it was short and embarrassed.  
Dean tried to be as casual as he could, but the weight of their previous conversation was overshadowing any attempt he made.  
Cas was still a little off, and was altering between watching Dean with wide-eyed adoration and seeking the comfort of solitude as soon as he laid eyes on him.  
He spoke silently to Sam, on occasion, and from that Dean learned he was having some existential crisis, but from what Sam told him he was relieved to know that Cas probably haven’t mentioned to him anything about their talk.

On the fortnight since Cas was back, as Dean was coming in with takeout and beer, he almost ran into Cas seated on the lowest stair.  
“Cas, what are you doing sitting here? The library is much more comfortable..” Dean lay the paper bags on the floor next to him and sat by the angel.  
“Waiting for you.”  
There was a pause, and they both stared at the floor in front of them.  
“And now that you found me?..” Dean asked, weary of Cas’ reply.  
“I know you do not share my sentiment.” Cas began. “But I am ill-equipped to confront these emotions on my own, and I have sense enough to know that you would not approve if I spoke to Sam about it.” he sighed. “I have existed before the beginning of this world. I have seen the oceans created, life evolving, and I have watched humanity for so long now. I have learned to bring life or to end them, to fight, to stand for what I believe, to have free will, even to dream…. But I have never had to deal with such emotions. It is overwhelming. I feel as if it may burn me to dust, consume me entirely.” He looked at Dean, hopefully. “How do you do that? How do you cope?”  
“I wouldn’t know…” Dean admitted in a hushed voice, and Cas’ eyes shot to look at him incredulously. Dean smiled faintly at the angel. “I’ve never felt that…” He waited for Cas to say something, but he didn’t.  
“Cas, I’ve never been… in love…” Dean said shyly. “The only people I’ve ever loved - Sammy, Bobby, Joe and Ellen… Charlie… They were all family. I would die for any of them. I have. For you too, you know that. But what you’re feeling - I’ve never had that.”  
Cas eyed him, surprised. “Lisa?..”  
“We don’t talk about her, ever.” Dean’s voice was stern with evident sorrow. “But no.” He added in a softer tone. “Cas, I’m a hunter. I try not to get attached, because I end up losing everyone I love. It’s hard enough with family. When we lost Bobby, I thought I would go mad. When I thought I lost you…” he held back the rest of the sentence. “I learned at a very young age not to get attached. So I don’t do relationships. Love’em and leave’em, that’s me. No strings attached. No real connections.”  
Cas grimaced at him. “Then that would only make my situation more miserable. I have not lost you, you are alive, but you do not reciprocate my feelings…”  
“I am sorry, Cas.” Dean averted his eyes. “I just… I never thought of you that way. You’re a dude. You’re my best friend, you’re awesome as hell, you’re one kickass angel, you’re not an asshat like the rest of your heaven dicksquad, and you’re a dude.”  
“Dean, I am completely indifferent to -”  
“Yeah, I know you are. I’M not.”  
They sat there for a moment more, before Dean picked up the paper bags and pulled himself to his feet. “Come on. Food’s getting cold. Even you are not indifferent to that…” he offered Cas an apologetic smile and waited for him to get up as well, and they walked together to where Sam was waiting in the library.

The night seemed to be going on forever. Cas twisted and turned in his bed, not getting any rest.  
The conversation with Dean that evening playing and replaying over and over in his mind.  
There was no way he could do it. He loved the Winchesters with all his heart, but his devotion to the elder brother suffocated every other emotion he had. The thought of never having Dean return his affection was unbearable. It was painful to his core. His body ached with it. His grace twisted with it. And if he had to be around him constantly - it would consume him, surely. He would not be able to withstand this.  
No. He shall overcome this. Even if he would have to endure a broken heart for a while. In the long run, he would rather have Dean’s friendship than no Dean at all.

In the morning Dean left his room in pursuit of coffee, but hurried towards the bunker door when he heard Cas’ heavy footsteps clanking up the metal staircase.  
“Leaving without saying goodbye again?” he called after the angel.  
“Dean…” Cas gave him the saddest smile he had ever seen on him. “No need to make a big deal out of it, right?..” he said with a mirthless laugh.  
Dean frowned and climbed one step towards Cas, as Cas descended some back towards Dean. “Don’t do that. We’re still friends. I still care about you, and so does Sam. And you can’t just go dark like that. We’d be worried. I’d be worried.”  
“I just need to be away for a while, until I learn to control these raw emotions.” Cas gripped the rails tightly. “I do not wish to burden you. This is my problem, and I will put a reign to these raging feelings”.  
A sudden pain was twisting and tearing through Dean’s stomach. An overwhelming fear that if he let Cas go now, he may never see him again. “Cas, please… Don’t go.”  
“WHY?..” Cas almost wailed at him. “I cannot stand this! It’s too hurtful! I will not knowingly choose to feel this way, I will not remain here to watch you daily, with the tormenting certainty that this is all I get!” He almost barked the last bit.  
“Cas…”  
“No, Dean!”  
Cas turned to go, and Dean hastily grabbed his wrist before he had a chance to leave.  
“If I…” he whispered to Cas desperately, “If I agree to…” he huffed in annoyance before he continued, “If I kiss you, will you stay?” he rushed the words out before he had a chance to regret them, and watched Cas’ eyes go wider and wider as his words registered in the angel’s mind. He rolled his eyes with the tiniest smirk, “Yes, you mean that much to me…”  
Cas shakily descended the rest of the stairs to stand, again, on the stair just above where Dean was standing, mouth gaping. “You… You would really do that for me?...”  
“Would it make you happy?”  
“I think…” Cas started hesitantly, then continued in a more decisive tone, “Yes. Yes it would.”  
Dean sent one hand to circle the angel’s waist while Cas placed a warm palm on the day old stubble on Dean’s face, and hesitantly brought his face closer, not daring to close the gap entirely. Just an inch apart, Dean pulled him the rest of the way and their lips touched.  
A small, barely-open mouthed kiss, only a few seconds long, closed eyed and excited.  
Though it was not much, Dean did not shy away from it, and waited for Cas to pull away first, and as soon as he did Dean pulled him again for one last peck of lips before resting their foreheads together.  
“Stay?..” Dean breathed into the air between them, almost into Cas’ lips, and Cas gave a barely noticeable nod of agreement. “Yes. Ok.”


	2. The Library

Chapter 2 - The Library

“SAMMY!” Dean’s roar was heard all over the bunker. “What the HELL. SAAAAAM!!!”  
Sam’s laughter could be heard long before he reached the library.  
“REALLY, Sam??” Dean waved the beer bottle at him, about to chew his head off. “Change all the beer into water?? What the hell is WRONG with you?? Some things you just don’t mess with…” he slumped into the chair behind him and gave an annoyed grumble.  
TWO days. It had been TWO days into another one of their prank wars, and it escalated pretty quickly this time.  
Sam laughed happily. “Sorry, Dean, that’s what you get for filling ALL my shoes with dog saliva…”  
Dean tried to still himself, but his lips gave a tiny curl up anyway.  
“Yeah, but ALL of it?..” he sounded exasperated with the notion of no beer.  
Sam huffed another laugh and trotted away smugly just as Cas passed him on his way in.  
“What did you do with the beer? Is there any beer left ANYWHERE in the bunker?...” Dean called after him in despair, then turned to Cas pleadingly. “Cas, wasn’t Jesus like your human half-brother? Can’t you just… mojo this water into beer?...”  
“Of course.”  
Dean handed him the bottle, encouraging him to do it, but Cas took the bottle, took a healthy swig of it, and put it down on the table beside him.  
“Why did Sam change all the beer into water?” he asked Dean with concern.  
“We’re just pranking each other, Cas, just playing jokes.”  
“I fail to see how depriving you of alcohol is funny. Though I understand it is healthier for you.” Cas smiled warmly.  
“It’s funny for Sam to see me frustrated and dying for a drink!” his voice was louder on the last few words. “Don’t worry, Cas, I’ll get him back..”  
Cas frowned with thought. “Why do you do that?”  
“I don’t know.” Dean replied, pulling his shoulders. “To mess with each other. To show affection, I guess..” A cunning smile crept onto Dean’s face as a malicious thought came to him. “Hey Cas… Would you be able to fix Sam’s hair back if something accidentally happened to it? Let’s say.. if he woke up one morning and it was gone?...”  
“Of course, Dean.”  
But then, a glint in Cas’ eye gave a mischievous air. “However, whether I would WANT to… That would be a whole different matter.”  
Dean smiled broadly at the angel and gave him a playful nudge. “That’s my angel…”  
“Yours. Always.” The angel beamed.  
Dean’s smile faded at that, and Cas leaned a little closer to him.  
Dean’s eyes averted immediately, searching to deflect from the intimacy of Cas’ stare, landing on the abandoned beer bottle. Hastily, he grabbed and pushed it towards him. ”So will you change it back into beer for me?” he prodded Cas.  
“No.”

“Sammy? Is that you?” Dean yelled as he heard footsteps coming into the library. “Can you grab those boxes in the corner and give me a hand over here?”  
“It’s not Sam, Dean, It’s me.” Cas’ footsteps stopped right at the foot of the ladder Dean was hanging on, one of his arms grabbing the top of the ladder and the other stretching to reach the highest shelf for the wooden box it held.  
“Well give me a hand anyway, will ya?” Dean turned to look at Cas and pointed at the boxes he wanted Cas to bring him. As he strained his back to reach up his tee came up a little to expose a thin strip of bare skin, and he noticed Cas’ eyes were glued to it.  
Cas went to pick the box Dean was pointing at and brought it over without breaking his gaze for a second.  
Dean smirked at the angel as he lifted the box, Cas’ stare still fixed on the naked skin. “See something you like?..”  
“Yes.” Cas’ direct and honest reply wiped the smirk right off Dean’s face.  
He snatched the box from Cas’ hands, took out a marker from his back pocket, marked the box ‘Hex bags - under any circumstances - do NOT touch!!’, placed the wooden box inside and put it back in its place.  
As he turned to get off the ladder, he thought he saw Cas quickly pull his fingers from where they were hovering over the gap between his tee and his jeans belt, and the angel’s eyes darted in any direction except Dean’s. He was about to throw some clever remark, but decided against it and instead tugged his shirt down to cover himself.  
Cas’ cheeks were slightly more flushed than usual, but Dean may have imagined it.  
“Why were you marking the wooden box, Dean?” Cas asked in an attempt to release some of the charge between them, “we know it holds powerful objects, we do not require such warnings as if we were infants.”  
Dean’s smile carried a heavy embarrassment. “Yeah, we know NOW…”  
Cas’ head tilted in confusion.  
“I, uh… accidentally took one of the hex bags out.” Dean smiled sheepishly. “I thought the moose bladder was in there.” He said as if that explained everything. “Moose bladder?... you know, to mess with Sammy?... Boy, that would make him piss like a pregnant chick….” he smirked. “Anyway, it wasn’t. All hex bags. Nearly cost me my head and a foot…”  
“No, please, I rather like your head and your foot.” Cas said and a light shade of crimson decorated his cheeks. Dean turned to fiddle absently with the marker.  
“Dean…” Cas started cautiously, “it’s been a few days… may I… would you allow me to kiss you again?”  
“Cas, come on…” Dean was red to his ears “It was one time. I didn’t agree to play boyfriends now!”  
Cas’ eyes darkened, his face taking on a stoic mask and his entire composure suddenly became a bit more rigid. “I see.”  
“Cas, don’t be like that…”  
“Like what, Dean?” he growled. “Frustrated? Tormented by your presence, because merely the sight of you speeds my pulse and sinks my gut? Or maybe you mean don’t be happy? Don’t do the one thing that I want the most, because lord knows YOU never do. You would never risk yourself to actually have a chance to be happy, won’t you, Dean?”  
“Clingy!” Dean yelled, and regretted it as soon as the words left his mouth. “Fuck, sorry, Cas, I didn’t mean that…” But Cas’ face remained stone cold resolution. “I mean,” he lowered his voice, “you can’t force someone to fall in love with you. You can’t impose intimacy. You gotta both want it. And I AM sorry, Cas, I don’t feel it. I wish I could give you what you want. I really wish I could make you happy.” His voice was small and sad now.  
“Then why did you do it?” Cas surprised him.  
“I didn’t want you to leave.”  
“But why?” Cas pushed. “Why DID you kiss me the other day?”  
“I don’t know.”  
Cas’ eyes pierced him, and a moment later Dean turned and left the angel to stand in the library by himself.

Dean came back into the library a couple hours later, and sat down in the chair right next to Cas. He turned his chair towards the angel, and then turned the angel to face him as well.  
For a few minutes he just sat, focusing on kneading his fingers into each other.  
“What do you want?” Cas finally asked dryly, when Dean hadn’t spoken for some time yet.  
“Shut up, Cas, I’m trying to say something here.”  
“Normally that would involve using words.” Cas said flatly.  
Dean glared at him, but then went back to concentrate on his fingers.  
“I kissed you because I wanted you to know that I care about you. A lot. I wanted you to be happy. It was nice, but you’re still a dude, and I’m still not attracted to guys.”  
Cas got up to pace around. “Then why did you bother? Why not let me go, let me sort my own feelings so that maybe it wouldn’t feel this bad being around you?”  
“What if you couldn’t?” Dean exclaimed. “What if you decided it wasn’t worth it and never came back?... I thought… I thought I might lose you all over again. And I can’t do that. I won’t co.e back from that. I need you, man.” He got up to take a step closer to Cas.  
“So selfishly, you preferred to mislead me in false hope than to allow me to mend myself.” Cas was pained and furious. “I did not take you to be a cruel man!”  
“I’m sorry, Cas, I didn’t…” Dean lowered his eyes, “I guess it was pretty selfish of me…”  
Cas grabbed the front of Dean’s shirt into his fist and hurled him at the nearest wall until their faces were inches apart. “It’s my turn to be selfish, then” he rasped as he surged to crash his lips to the hunter’s.  
Dean pushed him, but Cas was strong, stronger than Dean, and his kiss, not shy this time, was passionate and demanding to the point where Dean could no longer do anything but comply.  
Cas’ tongue, persistently claiming his mouth, ravishing him from the inside, finally made him melt into Cas’ hold helplessly.  
The angel’s hand snaked up his arm to land where the handprint used to be. His mind was a mass of numb sensations, racing and blank at the same time.  
Then, as Cas pressed closer into him, colliding their bodies together, everything went white and his senses peaked.  
Ears buzzing and skin prickling, Dean pushed Cas away abruptly and stared at him wide-eyed. “Dammit, Cas, what was that??”  
Cas seemed lost in his actions, trying to shove Dean back against the wall and resume his attack, but Dean fend him off.  
“Cas, what did you just do to me??” Dean threatened.  
Cas seemed to be shaken out of his trance. “I kissed you. As I deserve to.” he answered solemnly.  
“No, I mean what you just did!” Dean breathed. “The… grace thing! There was a… surge… I don’t know, like…” he hesitated before adding “like you’d done something to me, internally.” Cas still seemed confused as to what he meant. “Like you jump-started every nerve in my body..”  
“I didn’t do anything…” Cas mumbled. “Like… what…”  
“Fuck, Cas!” Dean exasperated, “Like a fucking brain-orgasm!” he spat, searching the angel’s eyes to see if he finally got it.  
He watched as Cas’ face flashed from confusion, to understanding, to amusement, to pure self-satisfied desire.  
“I didn’t use my grace, Dean. Whatever you felt, this was all you.”  
Cas clashed their bodies back together, hands no longer fastening in Dean’s shirt to hold him still but roaming the hunter’s body freely and possessively, and Dean’s breath hitched at the overwhelming pleasure swarming over him.  
He could not help his hands flying on their own to wrap around Cas and despite the numbness of his brain he could still feel the pleased moan vibrating from the angel’s lips to his own.  
Dean had never felt such bliss from just a kiss before. But he did not need to process it just now. He would not be able to stop now even if he did want to.  
Cas continued to kiss him, open-mouthed and hot humid breath drowning any reservation or objection he may have had.  
Their heads were dancing together as their mouths were working to taste as much of each other as they could, relentlessly trying to deepen the kiss while their hands were wrapping and grabbing at the other’s body fervently.  
Cas’ hands came to rest at Dean’s jeans belt, where the strip of bare skin teased him only a short while ago and tugged at Dean’s shirt towards the warmth of his skin, but Dean gently moved it.  
“Cas, too fast…” Dean mumbled without separating their lips, “This is going too fast…”  
Cas detached from him to look into his hazy eyes. “Would you say it if I was some woman you picked at a sleazy bar?”  
“No,” Dean started, but was cut off by Cas. “So shut up!”  
“But I wouldn’t care about some woman I picked at a sleazy bar! Not the way I do about you!” it took Dean a moment to realize his own admission and he let his head fall backwards on the wall behind him. “Dammit, Cas, what did you do to me? I can’t even think straight…”  
“I didn’t do anything.”  
“This really wasn’t.. a grace thing or something?” Dean asked, puzzled.  
“No, Dean,” Cas smiled, “I did nothing of that sort.”  
“So what was it?” he wondred.  
A smile spread across Cas’ face. “GOOD.”  
He snuck his arm around Dean’s waist, past some completely unnecessary clothing, to meet with the hot flesh of Dean’s back. He came close until the flats of their stomachs were warm against each other, and lay their foreheads together before he took Dean’s lips in another kiss.  
“Happy, Cas?” Dean rebuked at the angel sharply, but without real heat to it.  
“Very.” Cas grinned widely. “Isn’t it what you wanted, Dean? This makes me very happy.” He paused. “Is this not love, then? Putting your loved one’s happiness above yours?”  
“Shut up, Cas.” Dean grumbled. “I’m horny, you ass. Not the same thing!”  
Dean brought the angel’s face closer and bit his lower lip before launching in another heated kiss.  
“DEEEEEEAN????” they could hear Sam’s voice approaching from somewhere deeper in the bunker, and they hurriedly separated before he stormed into the library scorning. “PINK!!! My hair is PINK and in PIGTAILS!!!”  
Both Dean and Cas stood with their eyes cast down in shame, trying to stifle a laugh.  
“Did you do the pigtails?” Dean asked Cas almost inaudible.  
“Yes..” Cas whispered shyly.  
“Nice…”


	3. The War Room

Chapter 3 - The War Room

 

Dean buried his face in his glass, the amber liquid playing in the dim light coming from the table below. His tongue was still tingling from the previous sip, and he relished the taste and the burning in his throat.  
They were back from a hunt, taking down a nest of vamps. Pretty easy job, if not the cleanest. He dwelled on how these kind of jobs became like a second nature now, like driving, he could do it on instinct only now, not even bothering to stay focused. He was right there hunting, sharp and deadly, but his mind was miles away. In the library, to be exact.  
How is it possible?... He could not stop thinking of Cas. He must have done something to him.   
He never liked men. Still doesn’t. When they were tracking the vamps to find where their nest was, he tried. He saw some gay bar and decided since no one knew them this far out away from the bunker, what the hell. But nothing. He didn’t feel even remotely interested in any of them, and not for the lack of attractive options. The bartender was pretty hot, though. So they flirted harmlessly for a while, until her girlfriend came in.  
So he wasn’t bi. Not even bi-curious. Then why was this make out session with Cas in the library still haunting him? Why was it igniting his dreams at night and making his skin crawl during the day? Just the thought of Cas was making him jumpy…   
And Cas was becoming bold. Never demanding anything in front of Sam, but tauntingly brushing his hands over Dean whenever it could go unnoticed. On the back of his neck, on his lower back, an arm, on his goddamn ASS for god’s sake!  
And when in private…   
Cas would request permission, always, but it would sound so commanding… And Dean could never say no. He tried. Every single time. And then the angel would lay a tender hand on his cheek and say it’s alright, he didn’t have to, and his stomach would flare again, and his lips would find Cas’ on their own. He just HATED that….  
And he loved it. Cas never ceased to amaze him, his kisses always held a euphoric side effect he had never experienced before and could not have enough of, and the promise of immeasurable pleasure if he only allowed it. Fuck, what did Cas do to him??  
At first he thought Cas used his grace, but the angel fiercely denied it, and he did not feel the freshly cool flow of grace through him, so it must have been something else. But Cas wouldn’t use a spell on him. Or any other type of unnatural forces. He did not think Cas was even aware of the possibility of roofies, and would probably condemn the use of such things if he did, the self-righteous bastard…  
He took another sip of his whiskey and realized Sam was there, and he was talking to him. It took a minute for Dean to process what he was asking him.  
“Uh… I think pizza tonight.” he replied haphazardly. “Keep it simple.”  
“So pepperoni extra cheese? Got it.” Sam went for his keys, then up the stairs to go out. “Oh, hey, Cas called. He’s on his way. Probably get here before I get back.”  
Great.

Dean was still studying his liquor when Cas came in. He did not come directly to the war room, and when he did he was not wearing his trademark trench coat and suit jacket.  
Dean looked up at him as he came behind him, and with the most natural, flowing gesture, Cas bent down over him and took his lips into a kiss.   
“Honey, I’m home…” Cas announced cheekily and planted another warm kiss in the crook of Dean’s neck.  
It was such a fond, domestic act, that a thousand alarms started blaring in Dean’s mind. His brain shot him with words such as ‘Home’, ‘Family’, ‘lover’, things he never thought he’d ever get to have, and now he was sitting at his home, which he shared with his family, peppered with adoring kisses from his… ugh…  
“Cas, stop.”  
The angel raised an eyebrow mid-kiss to look at him quizzically.   
“What are we doing?” Dean asked him bleakly. “Are we still friends? Are we lovers?”  
“Of course we are, Dean.” Cas rest his chin on Dean’s shoulder and wrapped his arms around him.  
“But what is this?” he pushed.  
“Do we have to be one way or the other?” Cas’ lips were brushing Dean’s ear as he spoke, and Dean’s stomach felt warmer. “Do you need a definition to enjoy this? Would this…” Cas ran his lips over Dean’s sensitive skin and Dean shivered “feel any less pleasant if I used a different word?”  
Dean’s hand flew to wrap around Cas’ neck before he could stop it, lacing in his hair and pulling the angel’s face for a kiss.  
Dean felt embarrassed by how casual the whole situation was, and as soon as their lips parted he stood up. “I’m gonna go get a beer. You want one?”  
“Not yet.” Cas moved the chair aside and hugged around his waist, pressing his entire body against Dean’s back. “And neither do you.”  
Cas’ hands wandered lightly on Dean’s chest and belly, sneaking under the plaid overshirt. The blinding heat returned to flood his senses, and he relaxed back into Cas’ warmth, finding the angel’s presence comforting and reassuring. He let Cas pull his shirt up enough to allow his hands to roam his body freely and spike the nerves of his skin.  
Cas was kissing the back of his neck, and Dean turned his head to catch Cas’ lips with his. He succumbed to the lulling effect Cas’ touch had on him and melted into the lazy rhythm of their movements.  
He did not notice when Cas’ hands traveled to his belt, but the sudden warmth of Cas’ palm near the bulge in the front of his jeans made him wake out of his daze.  
“Woha, Cas! Easy, tiger!! Hands off the crown jewels!” he jumped, but Cas held him firmly and he had no option but to remain imprisoned by Cas’ arms. “What are you doing? I never said we can go there!”  
Cas stopped where he was, not advancing any further but not taking his hands away either. He wasn’t exactly touching Dean’s groin, but it felt pretty damn close…  
Dean tried to wiggle out of Cas’ grip, but the angel was solid and unmoving.  
Then, teasingly slow, Cas moved his hand just so and the blood already starting to fill him rushed as if a dam just broke. Dean gasped at the sudden gentle touch to his cock.  
He whimpered and tried to move Cas’ hands unsuccessfully. “Cas…” But the angel did not let go, nor made any attempt to move further.  
They stood frozen for a few seconds until Dean couldn’t bear it anymore and despite his efforts to move away, his hips twitched on their own into Cas’ still hand. He shivered, and it only made him move into Cas’ hand a bit more, and when he couldn’t keep a tiny moan in, it was all the confirmation the angel needed to start moving again.  
Cas rubbed him through his jeans, and when that wasn’t enough he opted to unzip Dean’s jeans and let his hand hover over his boxers where his now fully hard cock lay in anticipation.  
Dean tried to move away, but only pressed his backside harder into Cas, and he could feel the angel hard against his ass. And fuck if that didn’t feel good… It turned him on so bad, against his will and better judgement. He was torn between wanting more, so much more with his angel, and feeling this was somehow so wrong… He really didn’t want another dude’s hand on his junk. But he couldn’t get enough of Cas’ hands, achingly needed him to keep going…  
He shifted uneasily, a furious battle going on inside his head, until Cas’ middle finger slid under the elastic band to tangle in the thick hair of his crotch. Dean’s breath hitched audibly and his internal shouting stilled immediately, the loud cries to resist Cas dwindling into needy whines.  
But Cas did not show any intention of moving yet. He just stayed in his current position, occasionally brushing his finger through the dense curls leading to Dean’s now hard cock, eliciting sharp inhales and stifled moans from the hunter.  
Dean wanted to scream for the angel to let him go, to stop, that he doesn’t want this, he never wanted to get involved with the angel, never meant for it to go this far. That he doesn’t do those kinda things, he’s not… he couldn’t even say it in his head…  
He wanted to scream for the angel to fucking get on with it, not leave him aroused and hanging like that, never touching him. Just fucking touch him already…  
Cas’ breaths were shallow on his neck, delighted with the proximity and intimacy between them. Studying Dean’s facial expressions and reactions, appreciating the small changes in Dean’s breathing every time his finger slightly slid.  
“Look what you are doing to me...”  
Dean was vaguely aware of the slow movement behind him as Cas was rutting against his back, erection rubbing against the general area of his ass but not really aiming at anything but friction.   
He was vaguely aware of his own ass grinding back into Cas until the angel let out a long, soft moan into his ear, which made the pleasant warmth in his stomach spread wildly into the rest of his body and burst into body-rocking flames.  
“I can’t do this…” he flailed between Cas’ arms. “I can’t take it…”  
Cas released a long breath and suddenly his hand moved to wrap around Dean’s cock, hot and sweaty and so very real.   
It took him a moment to register the feeling and he had to brace himself on the map table in front of him as Cas’ hand started stroking, slow and teasing, up and down Dean’s shaft.  
Cas set a ruthlessly slow pace, drawing low and steady groans from the hunter.   
Dean was freaking internally over the other man’s touches and how arousing he found it, wanting it to stop but needing it to continue.   
He was too worked up, and Cas was jerking him steadily into certain stupor.  
Cas was persistently grinding behind him, matching his pace with the one of his hand. He kept the same agonizingly slow rhythm for what, to Dean, seemed like forever. Dean’s insides were turning, the slow burn in his lower abdomen unbearable but never faltering, his hips unconsciously bucking into Cas’ palm in unison with the angel’s movement.  
“Cas…”  
“Dean, stop. Not again. I intend to enjoy this.”  
“Cas, Sam’s gonna be back any minute…”  
Cas’ hands started moving slightly quicker, and Dean’s vision blurred with intensity. He felt like his entire being was sunk and reduced to the few points of contact he had with the angel. He could not really see or hear or smell or taste anything right now, only feel the touch of his angel searing his soul and scorching his skin.  
His energy was building, fast, rushing towards one specific point in his body, washing over him with blinding heat. He felt his balls tightening right before his entire body shook with effort and raw pleasure only to drain out of him in an explosion of natural high, shooting hot cum onto Cas’ hands, his knees momentarily failing.  
Cas kept stroking him through his orgasm, slowing his hand, kissing Dean’s neck and whispering words in his ear that Dean was too spent to comprehend.  
He removed his hand from Dean’s cock and left it on his stomach, lightly caressing and reassuring him he was all right, that he was good, easing Dean as he was still panting.  
Cas cleaned him and tucked him in as they heard the door of the bunker opening and the car keys tossed somewhere and Cas gave Dean one quick kiss before Sam would come to join them.  
“What about you?” Dean grabbed Cas’ hand and asked him quietly.  
“I wanted to do this for you.” he smiles at Dean, “And please do not feel obligated to to reciprocate the favour if you do not wish to, or if you do not feel ready to.” he said sincerely, and all Dean could do was smile back tiredly.


	4. The Kitchen

Chapter 4 - The Kitchen

 

Dean walked into the kitchen to find Cas hovering over a sizzling pan frying bacon, as he taught him. He was wearing only his dress shirt, no tie, looking much less formal than usual.  
Cas was standing with his back to him, and Dean’s eyes wandered to how the dress pants were hugging the angel’s ass, and he flicked his tongue at the thought.  
“I saw that.”  
“Saw what?” Dean feigned innocense and licked his lips again.  
“That.” Cas replied confidently. He turned to look at Dean smugly and smiled.  
It had been five days since the… thing… in the war room, and while Dean was finally willing to accept that he was attracted to Cas, he still had a hard time wrapping his head around it, or even admitting it to Cas.  
He was aware now of how his stare was lingering on Cas, he thought he had actually been doing it for much longer than the last few weeks, but still denying it to anyone but his own subconscious.  
He was also resisting less whenever the angel touched him, or kissed him when they happened to pass each other in some hidden corner of the bunker. Never anywhere Sam might catch them.   
But he was still stubbornly passive about the whole thing. He accepted Cas’ affection, but he would not seek it himself.  
“Bacon grease is really hard to remove if it stains, you know…” he said to Cas casually.  
“So what do you suggest I do?” Cas smirked at him. Smirked! Like he was a chaste virgin and Cas was the predator! “Should I remove my shirt so it doesn’t stain?..” and that was not what Dean was thinking, in fact he wasn’t thinking, just trying to make conversation to avoid the fact that he was, indeed, staring… But the mental image of Cas shirtless woke his mind better than the really strong coffee he was about to pour himself, and he coughed uncomfortably and strode quickly towards the coffee pot.  
“I was thinking you might wanna wear an apron or something.” he said, but Cas was already closing in on him, unbuttoning his shirt.  
He reached Dean and took his hand from his pocket. He waited for Dean to look up at him and locked eyes. Then slowly, he placed Dean’s palm over his bare chest. Dean’s breathing became heavier, but none of them dared to move.  
It took Dean several long minutes to realize that Cas was waiting for him. Waiting for Dean to move, to do something, either to resist like he normally would or take it further.  
And he wanted to. He wanted so bad… But in his mind that was a leap he was not yet willing to take.   
It was one thing to comply with Cas. He was able to convince himself that he wasn’t doing it for himself. That it was Cas’ happiness he was worried about, and it was all about his friend. He wanted his friend to be happy, that’s it.   
Initiating, though, would mean something else entirely. It would suggest that this was not merely about Cas anymore. That he had as much part of this, whatever ‘this’ was, as Cas. That this was more, and that ‘friend’ was not a fitting description for Cas anymore. It meant he was not only accepting their new arrangement but also advancing their relationship.  
“Dean, I think I found us a case.” Sam’s voice came from the corridor, and Dean visibly flinched, pulling his hand quickly from Cas’ chest.   
Cas gave him a sad smile, disappointed that Dean did not take the chance he offered him, acknowledging the relief Dean felt to be saved by Sam’s arrival.  
“Yea? What is it?” Dean called, voice hoarse, still not breaking eye contact with Cas, as Cas took a step back to button his shirt.  
Sam entered the kitchen sniffing the air, smiling, and Cas turned with the huge pile of hot crispy bacon and placed it on the table, as if nothing just happened between them.  
“Ah… I love the smell of bacon in the morning...” Sam grinned happily at Cas, and dug in, Cas taking a seat in front of him.  
He was talking about the case he found, but Dean wasn’t listening, still leaning on the countertop, trying to rearrange his breathing and remember how to make coffee. How the hell could Cas look so composed again so quickly, that pompous son-of-a-bitch...

It took them eight days to hunt down Ashtoreth. It was a while before they even identified all her victims, because who the fuck cares about a few lonely guys with no real connections who had to pay to have sex with a whore who eventually ate their heads. Literally. Most of them didn’t even have a missing person's report filed...  
Sam was surprised when they finally found her and she had zero effect on Dean. Dean hadn’t been out picking chicks for a while, and he was worried his man-slut-of-a-brother would be easy prey.  
But Dean’s head wasn’t with chicks. Wasn’t with dudes either. It was with Cas.  
It would be eight days, nine by the time they get home, that he hadn’t seen Cas. That Cas hadn’t touched him. Kissed him. Loved him. Dean missed it. Missed HIM.   
It wasn’t so much the physical attention that Cas had bestowed upon him, but more being immersed by the angel’s affection. He missed the closeness.  
Baby was purring and drinking the miles as he drove too fast, the road still taking too long for his liking.   
His knees were bouncing and fingers nervously tapping the wheel during the last few miles before they arrived at the bunker, and it took all the self control he could muster not to run inside calling for Cas.  
The angel wasn’t there.  
Fuck.

Dean woke the next morning way too early, from a dreamless, restless night.  
He kept hearing Cas around him, feeling Cas’ breath on his skin, smelling the angel’s spring-fresh smell around him, because to him Cas smelled like hope, and home, only to wake up to the crushing feeling of loneliness.  
He thought he heard Cas calling his name, but when he listened more carefully there was nothing there.  
He was sweaty, and thirsty, so he got up and went for a bottle of water.  
He could hear Sam in the kitchen making breakfast and thought to turn and go back to his room. He really was not in the mood for pleasantries. Or talking. Or people.  
He was about to do so when his brain registered that the man standing in the kitchen was too short to be Sam. And too formal. And… “Cas!”  
“Hello, Dean.”  
Cas was standing with his back to Dean, mixing batter for pancakes. His sleeves were folded up neatly to his elbows and he was wearing an apron over his dress shirt.  
Dean closed the distance between them in seconds and swiveled the angel to face him, almost toppling him as he kissed him excitedly.  
“Dean…”  
But Dean was too busy devouring Cas’ lips to allow him to use them for any other purpose, pushing into the angel and grabbing him tight.  
Cas seemed surprised by Dean’s eager enthusiasm, but quickly started cooperating, taking Dean’s face in his hands and kissing him deeply.  
Dean placed his hands on the angel’s hips and pulled him closer leaving no space at all between them and moved them together.   
He pushed Cas back so his ass was leaning against the countertop and Dean was pressing right against him, making him bend his back even more backwards.  
Dean kissed him relentlessly, Cas’ hands searching behind himself for support, one of them landing partly inside the bowl of batter.  
Cas brought his hand forward, pale batter dripping from his fingers, searching for a towel to wipe his hand, but Dean grabbed his wrist and, never taking his eyes away from the angel’s face, wrapped his mouth around the dirty fingers and licked them clean.  
Dean could hear Cas’ breath hitching, his own mind resonating with the insinuated meaning behind the gesture, scaring and thrilling him all at once.  
They both needed a moment to process what was happening. Cas radiating for the first time Dean had ever initiated any contact between them and Dean terrified of the exact same thing.  
Cas was first to recover, eyes clouding with something Dean had never seen before, sending his hand behind himself, and deliberately dipping his fingers straight into the pancake batter again. Then, slowly, teasingly, bringing his fingers forward to Dean’s lips.   
He didn’t have to say anything, the request unmistakably loud in his action, his eyes fixed on Dean’s lips pleadingly and the invitation obvious on his face, as if daring Dean to show him that the first time was not by mistake.  
And if Dean thought so at first, he had no doubt about it now. This time was calculated, meant as a promise to the angel of things to come. He opened his mouth and gave Cas’ finger one long, sensuous lick from base to tip before he took his finger completely between his lips and sucked like his sanity depended on it.  
Cas’ eyes fluttered shut and his head fell back, and just when Dean thought this was the most beautiful thing his angel ever did, Cas moaned deeply and bucked his hips into Dean’s and oh.. god.. so perfect…  
Dean untied the apron behind Cas’ back and removed it, throwing it aside. His lips latched onto Cas’ exposed neck and he kissed and tasted the tan skin. His hands fastened under the angel’s thighs and he lifted Cas to sit on the countertop, legs parted and Dean settled between them grinding into Cas’ forming hardness.  
Cas’ hand flew to tangle in Dean’s hair, slightly smearing it with the bit of batter still on his fingers. His other hand, feeling the surface behind him, found the bowl and waited. As soon as Dean broke from his neck he dipped his fingers in the batter again and brought them to Dean’s mouth pushing the dripping digits in messily and smudging Dean’s entire face.  
Cas smiled at the mess he made and licked the smudges off Dean’s cheek.  
A wicked grin spread on Dean’s face, and in response, he dipped his own hand and brought a splash of batter onto Cas’ neck, trailing his hand down his half unbuttoned shirt dragging the sticky substance down Cas’ chest then lowering himself to scoop the sweet goo again with his lips, looking up to see the wonderful and mesmerized look on Cas’ face.  
The angel’s face was completely clouded with lust at the pale thick liquid trickling down Dean’s neck.   
He was so transfixed by the stunning, erotic picture of Dean’s face, he did not notice Dean’s hand sneaking behind him into the bowl until Dean splashed his face with a generous amount of batter and started laughing happily, eyes crinkling and body shaking with joy.  
Cas’ jaw dropped with surprise, his wide eyes narrowing immediately as he reached the bowl and took a healthy amount to throw it at Dean’s temple, and while Dean was trying to dodge a second scoop of goo found its way into his tee.  
Dean backed away cheering, his grin widening even more into childish delight, and grabbed the first thing he could use to throw at Cas, which unfortunately was the bag of flour…  
Ghost-white from the fine powder and loudly laughing, Cas saw the batter was gone and searched his surroundings for something else.  
“Cas!!” Dean warned him, “No eggs!! That shit will never come off!!”  
Milk then. He chased Dean with the milk carton, splashing all over the hunter, and over the entire kitchen floor in the process.   
Another fist of flour and spray of milk later, and an annoyed shriek came from the direction of the kitchen door. They both froze to look up at a scolding Sam.  
“A food fight, Dean?? Seriously, what are you guys, FIVE??” Sam reprimanded, frowning.   
Dean gave Cas a wink, brought his fist to his mouth and blew the contents at Sam. A cloud of white dust covered Sam’s face and hair, and he scoffed. “Yeah… Whatever… Just clean up after… I’m going for a run.”  
They both looked at each other with matching smirks.  
When Sam was gone and they finally managed to stop laughing, Dean wiped a bit of flour from Cas nose and kissed it. Then he wiped his cheek, and kissed it too, and then his eyes, and his lips.  
Cas hugged him and licked a trail of milk droplets from his neck to his chin and kissed him back, and the mix of Dean’s milk and Cas’ flour made a sticky dough as they gripped each other tightly seeking each other’s mouths urgently.  
Cas tugged at Dean’s shirt and Dean removed it swiftly, before pushing Cas’ shirt off his body, and soon they were both panting with need as hands and lips refused to leave the other man’s skin.  
Dean fumbled with Cas’ pants button, hastily opening and unzipping him and doing the same to his own jeans, then lifting Cas to the counter again to roam his chest and abs. Cas wrapped his legs around Dean’s waist and shivered as Dean pulled away their boxers and took both their forming erections into his hand. They both held their breath at first contact between their cocks, waiting a moment just to look at their joined members.  
“Dean, you are gorgeous. Even more so like that…” Cas whispered, and that was the push Dean needed to start jerking them both together.   
He wrapped his arm around Cas and collected him closer connected all the way to their balls. Slick from milk and precum, Dean’s hand slid easily over and over their filling cocks, blood rushing and hardening with each stroke, smearing the pearly drops of precum as they produced themselves out of their ready slits.   
Their lips were still attached, but they were both too engrossed in the sensations of their cocks pulsing together to consciously kiss, only exchanging air and swallowing each other’s broken moans.  
Dean moved his hand faster now, feeling Cas as close as he was. The angel’s subtle thrusting movements becoming erratic and his cock achingly full, as was his own. He gave then a few more hard tugs and twisted his hand slightly at the end and could tell it was a matter of seconds for Cas. His own guts were clutched tightly, overloaded with pleasure about to burst, his vision long gone in favour of the blinding heat he was familiar with by now that always accompanied touching Cas, and suddenly he was releasing the coiled energy in his abdomen, his cum, his vocal chords and his self-control, howling his pleasure at Cas and spilling over his hand. Cas was a second behind him, more reserved in his orgasm but no less shattering.  
Dean continued to rub them both out of any bit of energy they had left, and then they both slumped to the floor together, shaking and just as messed as their surrounding.  
“God, I missed you…” Dean admitted into Cas’ shoulder.  
“I missed you too, Dean.” Cas played with Dean’s ruffled hair. “Though I did not expect such a… warm… welcome...” he smiled.  
“Yeah,” Dean blushed, “me neither.”  
Cas looked around them. “We have to clean our mess now.”  
Dean looked up at the angel, and allowed his head to drop in something between agreement and desperation.   
They slowly scrambled to their feet and fixed their clothes as best they could. Dean grabbed a cloth to start wiping the counter, but Cas caught his hand and pulled him into a kiss. By the time they broke away Dean looked around and the place was spotless.  
“You really shouldn’t be wasting your grace on such things.”  
“Such things?” Cas tilted his head and frowned, “Like cleaning, after the man I love made me the happiest I have been in centuries? Sounds quite reasonable to me.”  
“Are you?” Dean asked shyly, “Happy?”  
“Very much.” Cas smiled widely. “Are you?”  
Dean was silent for a moment. “Cas, this is the best thing I’ve ever had.”  
The light in Cas’ eyes diminished a little at that. “But…” he waited for Dean to go on.  
“I worry.”  
“About what, Dean?”  
“Losing it.” Dean struggled before continuing. “Sam and I, we lose everyone we love. Everyone we get attached to. It’s the Winchester curse. That’s why we don’t form meaningful connections in the first place.”  
Cas sniggered at that. “I’m pretty good at defending myself. AND coming back. I think next to you, Winchesters, I am the only being to ever be back from the dead so many times. Maybe I carry the Winchester curse too, I have been around you and your brother for so long. It was you who said I was family.” Cas smiled at his own comment.  
Dean placed a fond hand on Cas’ shoulder, then had a change of heart and caressed his way up to cup his face.  
“I hope not.” his voice was grave and his eyes hollow.


	5. The Garage

Chapter 5 - The Garage

 

Dean needed to think.  
So he went to the one place that helped him clear his head. The garage.   
They found a salt-and-burn two states over, and Baby needed some TLC before they could hit the road again.  
It’s just… This thing with Cas, it was bothering him. He didn’t think much of consequences when Cas first started it. Or, when he himself was desperate enough to agree to kiss Cas to make him stay. But honestly, what was he thinking?? Did he really think this was gonna be a one time thing?... With CAS, his best friend?...   
Dean wasn’t used to this kinda thing. All he ever had were one night stands. No-brainer, no-future flings, just casual sex that did not require planning. Pick a girl at a bar, give a flirting look, deliver your best line, go somewhere more private, stay the night or don’t, and forget all about it in the morning. Sometimes quite literally, if he had a bit too much to drink.  
Even the one relationship he did have, with Lisa, they always knew it wasn’t forever. The Life, he told her, you can never really quit, you never really stop hunting. And he was staying with her, a guest in her life. He could leave at any time. He did, as soon as Sam was back.   
But Cas was different, and it had nothing to do with him being a dude. Or not human.  
No. Cas was a friend. A rare commodity when you’re a hunter. Better not mess it up. And he will, undoubtedly, at some point. Because Cas and him had a past. And hopefully a future, though what kind was beyond what he could comprehend at the moment. He always thought Cas would be their friend for good. Till death took either one of them. Maybe longer, if they’re lucky. So what now? Were they in for a long term relationship? Fuck…  
What if things don’t work out? What if the angel finally finds out Dean isn’t worth his devotion? What then? The angel was part of his own life, Dean wasn’t visiting a stranger’s life this time. He had a home now, at the bunker, he couldn’t just leave. He couldn’t take off whenever things got too suffocating for him.   
Cas could, though. The thought pinched his heart and sickened his stomach.  
Ugh… Feelings… He hated doing the touchy-feely thing… At least he didn’t have to hear Sam yapping about, going ON and ON about discussing his emotions. Oh, SHIT. Sam. He’ll have to tell him at some point. Hell, he’ll deal with that later.

Cas wandered into the garage to find Dean shining the stark black metal of the Impala, his dark shirt stained with oil and gas and his face smeared with the same, probably from taking care of his beloved car.  
“Hello, Dean.”  
Dean jumped and dropped the rag he was using to wipe the windows and turned glare at him. “Never sneak up on me, Cas, not when I’m having some alone time with Baby!”  
“I didn’t, you were just too busy to notice.” Cas informed him and continued before Dean had time to protest. “Sam told me you were going on a case. I thought I’d find you here.”  
“Well, you found me.” Dean replied on edge.  
“Is there something wrong?” The angel’s brow furrowed. “Have I done anything to upset you, Dean?” he looked worried.  
“Everything’s fine.” Dean snapped. Then, more softly, he added “No, you didn’t do anything, Cas, it’s me…”  
“Dean, don’t do this to yourself again.” Cas rolled his eyes. “Do not attempt to analyze this unnecessarily.”  
“Unnecessarily?...” Dean looked at him. “Cas, I’ve been making out with my best friend for weeks now, and I’m starting to feel -” he stopped himself abruptly before he said anything he could not take back, and then made an effort to calculate his words carefully, “- feel like the aftermath is starting to catch up on us.”  
Cas crooked his head and looked thoughtful.  
“Cas, what did you think would happen with us?” Dean asked with a sigh. “When you first tried to kiss me. When I accepted. When we’re sucking face like teenagers in the hall. Where do you think this is going?”  
“I don’t know, Dean.”  
“You haven’t thought about it?”  
“No.” Cas lowered his eyes and picked up a small tool from Dean’s box to idly toy with.  
Dean released a long breath. “Where do you want this to go? What did you want this to be when you started it?”  
Cas did’nt answer, just played with the tool in his hands.  
“Cas…” Dean pressed, but softer this time, “What did you wish for us to be?”  
“This, Dean. I wished for this.”  
There was a long pause where Dean waited for Cas to go on and Cas fiddled with the tool in his hand. Finally, Cas spoke. “I just wanted to be near you, Dean. To be able to touch you when I need to. To be able to freely share my affection with you. I wanted to be happy, and I wanted to make you happy.”  
Dean was about to reply, but Cas continued. “I do not understand your need to label this. I enjoy things as they are, and from what I observed you seem to enjoy it just as much.” His eyes gave a playful glint for a split of a second before returning to his usual stern expression. “Please, Dean, let us simply enjoy this before the next apocalypse rattles our existence…” He pleaded.  
“What if you don’t want me anymore?..” Dean said quietly. “What if I can’t make you happy anymore? I’d lose both my best friend and… this….” He turned back to baby and busied himself wiping the windows repeatedly and aimlessly. “What if you left? I won’t be able to come back from that…” He whispered almost inaudibly.   
“I don’t think that is an option for me.” Cas took his hand, stopping it from repeatedly wiping at the same spot pointlessly. “I will always love you. That is a promise.”  
Dean looked back onto the angel’s face.  
“Angels don’t feel the same way humans do, Dean. Our father created us out of love. He asked us to love humanity, and so when an angel loves, it is unconditional, and a bond, once formed, is not easily broken.” Cas smiled in a very human way. “You are stuck with me, Dean.”  
Dean smiled in spite of himself and shook his head at the angel. “I can think of a few worse things than that…”  
Cas wrapped his arms around him and collected him into a warm hug.   
“Speaking of your dad,” Dean spoke into the skin of Cas’ neck where his face was pleasantly buried, “didn’t he say all gays are condemned to hell or something?”  
Cas groaned and hissed “Humans…”  
Dean pulled his face from the angel and blinked.   
“My father would never condemn any kind of love. You puny humans decided that.” He scoffed. “And, though the act of intercourse WAS designed for the purpose of procreation, I do believe my father intentionally made it so that love and desire were two different things. There IS purpose in the fact that two individuals of the same sex are able to engage in, and enjoy coitus.”  
“And you?” Dean squinted. “Are you even allowed to, with a human?”  
“Are you offering?” Cas’ eyes grew in surprise, and Dean laughed.  
“Typical, Cas.. Take a perfectly brilliant teasing comeback and make it awkward…” Dean fondly stuck an elbow in his side, and Cas blushed a little when he finally figured the flirty quality of his response.  
“Dean…” he started, embarrassed by the turn of their conversation. “The risk of an angel-human relationship is in the creation of a Nephilim. Since you are male, and I am in a male vessel, biologically this is not possible and therefore the risk is eliminated so there is no reason to prohibit it.” His eyes darted in all directions nervously now. “Please do not see this as an attempt to persuade you into something you are not comfortable with. I am perfectly satisfied with things as they are.”  
Dean brought his lips to capture Cas’ softly. ‘I might not be’, he thought as the usual jolt of electricity shot through his body, like any other time he and the angel touched. “Thanks, Cas.”

Sam came into the garage with their duffle bags ready for the road a couple hours later, throwing them in the trunk and getting into the passenger’s side.  
Dean looked up at him from his seat behind the wheel, shuffling through his tapes.  
“Sammy, there’s something -” he said just as Sam started saying “So get this.”  
“Sam…”  
“I’ve been doing some research and -”  
“Sam.”  
“- this salt and burn we’re off to, it -”  
“Sam.”  
“- might not be as easy as we thought,”  
“Sam!”  
“I… what?”  
“I’ve been trying to say there is something I need to tell you,” Dean hesitated.  
“Yea?” Sam looked curiously.  
Dean huffed. “Nevermind. Tell me about the case. We’ll talk about it later..”  
He was having second thoughts about telling Sam. He’ll have to do it eventually, but maybe this can wait till after the case. No need for that to be hanging between them when they’re stuck in the car with nothing to do but talk to each other. He wanted Sam to know, he just didn’t feel like doing the chick-flick moments.

When they got back to the bunker four days later, Dean realized he had managed to postpone telling Sam for their whole trip.   
He should just man up and do it. Like a band-aid. Yeah.  
“Sammy, wait a second.” He told Sam as they opened the doors to get out.  
He walked to the back, brought two beers out of their green cooler and handed one to Sam.  
Sam took the bottle and they both settled back against the car, as Sam looked at him expectantly.  
“Look, there’s no real easy way to say this, so I’m just gonna say it.” he paused, Sam still eyeing him, waiting.  
“Cas and I have been… kinda… close, recently.”  
“Yeah, I’ve noticed.” Sam replied. “You guys hang out a lot together. Every time I see you he’s usually around as well. I thought you’d be more pissed about him following you all the time like a puppy…”  
“He’s not f…” Dean stilled himself. “No, Sammy, we’ve been... “ Dean groaned in frustration. “Cas and I have been… sorta... intimate. Together.”  
It took Sam a few moments to process what Dean was saying, and his eyes grew wider with every second.  
“You’re telling me you and Cas are a thing??” Sam said incredulously, and a moment later his eyes narrowed, “Wait, Dean Winchester, straighter-than-a-ruler, free-bird and self-proclaimed-chick-magnet, is in a relationship - with a dude??” he smiled wickedly.  
“I know, I know…” Dean waved at him dismissively, “I have no values, identity, or self control…”   
An awkward silence stretched between them for a few minutes.  
“How long has this been going on?”  
“Couple of months.”  
Another pause.  
“So, are you into men now?” Sam asked tentatively.  
“No.” Dean stared at his palms. “Just Cas.” There was another pause. “I can’t explain it, man, it’s like I don’t care what body he’s in, he’s Cas, and I lo.. I care about him either way.”  
“Does he make you happy?” Sam asked with a sympathetic smile.  
“I don’t…” Dean started, but then shrugged. “Yes, I think he does.” he answered confidently.  
“Then that’s that.” Sam concluded undisputedly.  
“Really?..” Dean was pleasantly surprised by how well Sam was taking it. He expected a lot more taunting from Sam.  
“Yea, sure.” Sam smiled empathically. “If you’re happy.”  
Dean was about to push himself off the car when Sam laid a hand on him and grimaced, “Wait, so did you guys... How… Did you, you know…”   
“NO!” Dean exclaimed, “We’re just… We’re taking it slow…” he blushed furiously. “We haven’t…” he admitted quietly.   
Apparently Sam caught on to his embarrassment, and could not let an opportunity like that pass… “So who’s bottom?” he grinned at Dean mischievously.  
“SAM!!” Dean’s hand punched Sam’s arm before he could think, his face bright red and eyes glued to the floor before him. ‘I would if he asked me, though..’ he thought, but didn’t say aloud, as he pushed Sam off the car indignantly.  
“Hey,” Sam called him as he walked away from the Impala, “I’m really happy for you.” he said sincerely, before getting the duffels and going inside.

“How much did you hear?” Dean called into the space of the garage as soon as Sam was inside. “Come on, Cas, I know you’re here… How much of the conversation did you listen to?”  
“Most.” Cas’ gruff voice came from somewhere behind the cars. His scruffy silhouette shortly following.  
He reached where Dean was standing and gave him a long, deep look before giving him a small peck on the lips.  
“So, Dean, I make you happy?” Cas couldn’t hide the small smirk as Dean averted his eyes and replied “You know you do.”  
“I’m glad.” Cas took his hand and held it to his chest gently. “That you would allow yourself that. And honored that you let it be with me.”  
Dean clasped back the hand Cas was already holding and pulled the angel into a slow kiss. “Thank you, Cas.”  
The angel raised an eyebrow. “What for?”   
“For insisting. For knowing how to take down my guard.” Dean sighed. “For transcending over walls I spent decades building, so freaking high they had to call the DEA…”  
Cas laughed into his shoulder. “It is worth it.”  
They held each other for a while, exchanging small longing kisses, before their mouths travelled on and their bodies decided to cling to each other entirely.  
Dean’s hands were pushing off Cas’ coat and jacket, his lips tasting Cas’ neck when Cas whispered in his ear “Do you still want to take it slow?”  
Dean jerked away to stare at him blankly.  
“And who IS bottom?” Cas frowned at him with a playful tone.  
“CAS!” Dean cried, neck turning a wonderful shade of scarlet with his affront. “Of course you heard that…” he groaned.  
Cas brought his face a bit closer. “I also heard” he kissed Dean softly “your reply,” kiss, “the one you didn’t say out loud…”  
Dean’s face could not grow any hotter. He was so embarrassed, but also in a way so turned on that the angel knew how much he wanted it, he could hear his blood boiling in his ears, could feel his cock twitching in his jeans with evident interest.  
But Cas just placed his hand gently to cup Dean’s cheek and stared for a long moment. “I would never ask you to do something you are not comfortable to do.” he said finally.  
“Like you didn’t force-kiss me in the library?” Dean pushed the angel lightly, and it was Cas’ turn to blush.  
“That was… different….” Cas said in a low voice. “It was wrong of me to do so, I know that. But you needed the nudge.”  
“Did I now?...” Dean’s voice was stern, but his eyes were laughing.  
“We would not be here if I didn’t.” Cas shied. “Like you said, I had to take down your walls. I needed you to be happy. I needed US to be happy.”  
Dean’s face softened to Cas’ words. “That’s true. I’m glad you did.”  
“And I will never do it again.” Cas looked up hopefully. “I will never push you again.” he promised.  
“Well…” Dean’s face took on a full grin, “I think you’ll find it harder than you think to push me around.” he smirked. “I think I can take you…”   
“Oh?..” Cas’ brows climbed high on his face. “Well I’m an angel of the lord.” he shoved Dean back on the side of the car. “You should show me some respect.”  
Dean laughed at the play of the words Cas told him a long time ago, when they only met, and tried to shove Cas back, but the angel WAS strong…  
They continued to violently push clothes off each other, exchanging heated kisses as they do, until they were both shirtless, pants and jeans unzipped and hanging low on their hips. Their hands were roaming each other’s bodies, and they were panting in each other’s ears, breathing their excitement.  
Cas stopped, his eyes moving to the car questioning. Dean turned his head to look at Baby and smiled. “What, you wanna go Titanic on me?”  
Cas tilted his head with confusion, but Dean was already opening Baby’s door and climbing in. Cas ducked and went in after him.  
It took them a few moments to get comfortable in the restricting space of the car, but once they were, Dean leaned in over Cas and claimed his lips hugrily.  
Dean positioned himself between Cas’ open thighs and moved steadily. Cas’ arms were threaded behind Dean’s back, firmly grabbing the skin of his shoulderblades and pulling Dean as close as possible. Dean laced one hand behind Cas’ neck, holding him tight to work their mouths together, and the other hand at the back of Cas’ upper thigh, right where it met with the curve of his ass, to pull at the angel so their erections were sliding against each other’s in the closest way possible.  
Grinding desperately for friction, Dean pushed down their pants and boxers, and they both kicked their shoes off for their clothes to be discarded smoother.  
They were both naked now, rubbing and moaning uncontrollably as their cocks steadily filled, sliding against each other and smearing precum between their willing erections.  
And Dean had never wanted anything more than to be one with his angel.   
His lust blown eyes widened and he released a guttural groan as he looked down between them at their throbbing cocks against each other. It felt so good, to have Cas naked and oh so close to him, but he wanted closer.  
Dean stilled for a moment and Cas guessed his thoughts.  
“You want…” Cas whispered.  
“I don’t… I’ve never…” Dean admitted, “I don’t know how…”  
For a few moments they only stared at each other, heavy breaths and tense hesitation the only things between them, when Dean felt Cas’ hand leave his back and move between them. He reached down and Dean flinched when it brushed his balls but continued lower. Cas’ brows furrowed and he groaned in concentration. A moment later his eyes widened slightly as his breath hitched, mouth open and he latched onto Dean’s lips with fervor.  
Cas bit Dean’s lower lip and moaned, as his hips were dancing under Dean’s body, and Dean pulled back dumbfounded. “Cas, are you ok?” he asked, “what are you doing?”  
“I have…” Cas panted, “o… opened… prepared… D… Dean… for you…” he bucked up and caught Dean’s lips at the same time, “for you… you can… oh... inside… now…” he grabbed Dean’s cock and guided him towards his virgin hole. “for you… oh… I’ve never… but… so good… please, Dean… for you…”  
It took Dean a split second to understand what the angel had done, and he felt himself grow even harder at the thought.   
“Dean, please…”  
Dean wanted to thrust in, he was so awed by the angel, but he didn’t want to hurt him. “Don’t we need some lube or som-”  
“Dean. In. NOW.”  
The command in Cas’ voice left no resistance in Dean as he moved slowly to bury his cock into Cas’ willing body. They both sucked air at the feeling, new and exhilarating for both of them. Dean stopped as he was balls deep into Cas and succumbed to the pleasure engulfing him, but Cas started moving instead in small rolls of his hips under Dean that taunted Dean’s cock with just a small amount of friction and made it hit a certain spot inside Cas repeatedly. Seeing Cas’ pleasured face he could tell he must be hitting Cas’ prostate, and he started moving too to match Cas’ rhythm, only longer and harder.  
The white blaze usually hitting him whenever he touched Cas was there, but it was paired with an unprecedented feeling of completeness as he pounded in unison with the angel. He felt like his core was soaring, coated with unbearable desire and burning bright with unnatural bliss, and he hissed as he was consumed by the raging heat.  
Cas opened his eyes to look up at him, and his eyes were midnight storms of ice and lust magnified tenfold by the touch of grace.  
They stared at each other for a few seconds, maintaining the uncompromising pace they set as their stomachs were coiling, preparing to erupt.   
Dean broke eye contact first, as his head threw back with a gasp and the supernova inside him exploded and shattered him as he shot his cum inside Cas’ body.  
Cas was a moment later, clenching around Dean and coming in strings of white between them, glueing them in their position.  
They did not attempt to move or change positions for a while, comfortable in the quiet and closeness of the moment. Brushing their cheeks together, enjoying the feeling of the other’s stubble on their skins, saturating in their satisfaction and calm, they kissed lazily and slowly sunk into a relaxed hug.  
“I can’t believe we just did that…” Dean shook his head and buried his face in Cas’ neck. “How did you even know how to..?”  
Cas lifted his head to look directly in Dean’s eyes. “Though I have never, until now, felt the need to experience these things first hand, I have been around this earth for a millennia, and I have picked on a thing or two.” Cas smiled. “I am not as oblivious as you assume....”  
Dean smiled with him. “But you did use your grace on me this time.” he said.  
“No,” Cas smiled, “I used it on me. I apologize, I was too impatient to adjourn until we found lubrication.”  
Dean laughed and nodded agreement. “Then what is it?” he wondered aloud, “Whenever we touch each other.. I’ve had sex before, you know, but never like that..”  
“Of course not, you have never had sex with a male before”.  
Dean chuckled. “Sure, Cas. That too.” he thought, “Are you sure you didn’t spike me up just a little?”  
“I swear, Dean, I did not use my grace to affect your orgasm in any way.” Cas pulled him closer.  
They were quiet for a while.  
“Holy hell...” Dean whispered eventually, burying his face in the crook of Cas’ neck “I just had sex with my best friend. My male best friend. In my car.”  
Cas smiled and kissed his temple.  
“Cas…” Dean turned to him, face painted with shock, “Cas, I’m still in your ass…”   
A flash of desire passed in Cas’ eyes, gone as soon as it came, and before he could get hard again just by knowing he was still inside Cas, Dean quickly pulled out and grabbed his shirt to wipe them both clean.  
“Are you alright, Dean?” Cas asked him patiently, “Are you happy with what we just did?”  
Dean thought for a moment. He couldn’t bring himself to say it out loud. He could not voice his approval of their actions. Not yet. This was… big. Bigger than anything they did so far. This meant.... this meant. He still needed to wrap his head around it. He and Cas. Damn.   
So instead he leaned in and kissed Cas, pouring into it everything he felt, everything he thought, every doubt and every conflict he had, every pleased satisfaction and every tender care he nurtured, every need and every bit of want.   
And the angel understood.


	6. Sam’s Room

Chapter 6 - Sam’s Room

 

“Is it loading now?” Dean asked Cas, as he was playing with the cords.  
“No.” Cas replied, “Still no connection.”  
“Have you tried turning it off and on again?...” Sam’s voice was full of laughter on the phone’s speaker.  
“Yes, several times.” Cas replied, reference going completely over his head.  
“Sammy, it’s no use, we tried everything.” Dean slumped in his chair, annoyed. “We rebooted the computer, rebooted the network, re-defined the wireless, we even tried the hard reboot…”  
“How hard did you hit it?..” Sam sighed on the other end of the line.  
“Hard enough to help if it could. We didn’t break it, Sam.” Dean huffed. “Nothing works. The hard drive is gone, and there’s no internet.”  
There was a pause in the call.  
“Fine.” Sam said finally. “I’ll pick up a new one on my way back.”  
“Don’t you want to try and fix it?” Cas asked while still trying to get the damn thing to work.  
“I don’t see how.” Sam said. “If Dean couldn’t fix it I’m not sure I could, and I don’t want to give it to an expert because they’d probably call the Feds on us. Either for all the weapons information stored on it or the crimes these associate us with, or for the sheer amount of porn Dean has on that thing… seriously, Dean, I think your laptop simply committed suicide…”  
Dean smiled and replied cheekily, “It’s called Anime, and it’s an art form.”  
“So what are we supposed to do for now?” Cas asked seriously, “You’re on a hunt with Sheriff Mills, and you need our assistance doing research. And we have no computer.”  
“What are you talking about, Cas, you have a whole library full of every bit of Men Of Letters information ever gathered, you have enough to do research!”  
“These logs were last updated decades ago, Sam. We require access to more recent information.” Cas explained. “And the internet allows us to research archives without geographical restrictions, which is much preferable.”  
“Ok…” Sam said, finally. “You can use my old laptop, it’s in my room, bottom drawer. And don’t touch anything!!”  
“Thank you, Sam.” Cas smiled.  
“Talk to you later.” Sam ended the call.  
Dean looked admirably at Cas. “Damn, you’re getting good at this.” He got up and pulled Cas into a hot kiss. “Netflix and chill?”  
“I’ll get the beer.” Cas laughed delightfully.

Dean was rummaging through Sam’s drawers searching for the laptop when Cas came in.  
“He said bottom drawer.”  
“I know.” Dean gave him a cheeky grin and continued. “Come to chaperone me?”  
“To make sure you don’t touch anything.” Cas said. “I remember what happened on your last prank war…”  
Dean laughed cheerfully.  
“Please, allow me.” Cas came closer, “Our beers are getting warm..”  
He leaned down and fished out the laptop.  
Dean positioned himself behind Cas and gently ground against Cas’ ass.   
Cas’ eyes shot backwards toward him. “Not now, Dean. Let’s get the computer and leave Sam’s room.”  
“Why not?” Dean feigned innocence. “I’ve done worse to his stuff. I once used his toothbrush to -”  
“No, Dean.” Cas commanded. “Not here. I respect Sam, I will not have intercourse in his room.”  
“Ok.” Dean said, but his hands held still around Cas, plucked the laptop out of his hands as he turned, and placed it on the bed. He pulled Cas into a hug and kissed him, making sure to use the exact amount of tongue just as Cas liked it, enticing him to melt in his touch and moan softly.  
“No!” Cas staightened suddenly. “Dean, stop it. We can go somewhere else.”  
“Come on, Cas…” Dean smiled seductively, “it’s just a kiss…”  
“It’s never just a kiss with you, Dean, you know that.” Cas scoffed. “Stop!”  
Dean stopped kissing him, but instead grabbed his hips and pulled him closer, their half-hard clothed cocks rubbing together, with growing interest.  
Cas tried to push away, but Dean was ready for the motion and collided them together with force, grinding into Cas even harder.  
Cas released a quiet moan. “Dean, you’re impossible…”  
They stood there, leaning on Sam’s dresser, grinding and moaning, Dean finally bold enough to resume kissing. Cas was wrecked, moving with Dean’s thrusts, getting harder and desperately trying to both ignore the rugged friction of the fabric of his pants and indulge in it at the same time.  
Cas was wearing his buttoned dress shirt, but with a pair of jeans, and his shirt was already half unbuttoned and not tucked in as usual, so Dean had no problem sneaking a hand underneath it and smoothing his hands over the tan plains of Cas’ chest and stomach. The angel’s kisses became messier with arousal and his hands clutched Dean’s shirt needily.  
Dean unbuttoned him and moved his lips to cover as much of the angel’s skin as possible, but as soon as his fingers hooked into Cas’ belt the angel’s hands came to stop him.  
“Dean, I said no!”  
“Party pooper…”  
“There is only the two of us here, Dean, and I do not defecate.”  
Dean laughed, but let his hands drop from Cas’ body.  
“I just thought it would be kinda… kinky… you know?” he looked at Cas. “But if it’s that important to you then we don’t have to.”  
“It is. Sam is my friend and I respect his space.”  
“A’ight!” Dean raised his hands defensively. He took Sam’s laptop and turned to leave.  
“Come on, Cas, our beers are getting warm. And Netflix isn’t gonna watch itself…” he grinned suggestively at the angel. “Couch. Now. And leave your shirt unbuttoned. I’d hate to ruin it again in two minutes…”


	7. The Dungeon

Chapter 7 - The Dungeon

 

“Cas, you comin’?” Dean called as he balanced the huge, heavy cardboard boxes in his hands. He went all the way to their storage area and put them down with the rest, but when he turned the angel wasn’t behind him.  
He went back through the long corridor he came through, and found Cas standing, still with the heavy boxes in his hands, staring thoughtfully at a slightly ajar door.  
Dean followed the angel’s eyes to see that they were standing just outside the bunker’s dungeon, and he could tell Cas was on edge.  
“Cas, you alright?” he asked, concern painting his voice. “It’s just the dungeon, man, we’ve been here a million times…”  
“Yes.” Cas replied without taking his eyes off the door.  
“What’s troubling you?” Dean came to stand between him and the door to physically break his line of sight.  
Cas shook as he woke from his daze. He looked at Dean with surprise, as if just realizing the man was there. “I apologize, Dean.” He adjusted his hold of the boxes and remembered what he was doing there. “I’ll just go put these boxes down now.”  
“Cas..” Dean followed the angel as he moved away towards the storage area, and caught his arm after he put down the boxes.  
“Hey, buddy, what’s wrong?” Cas refused to catch his eyes and Dean was worried. “Is it the dungeon? What did you see there?”  
“Nothing.” Cas replied, “It’s nothing…”  
“Come on, Cas, you can tell me anything, you know that, right?” Dean placed a gentle hand on Cas’ arm as encouragement.  
Cas looked up at him with such sad eyes, Dean’s heart clenched a little.   
“Is there something there?” he asked, but when the angel hadn’t responded, he decided to try humour to elicit a response from Cas. “You want us to grab something sharp and go take a look?..” Dean smiled at him as you would at a child seeing monsters under his bed.   
Cas narrowed his eyes at him “I am not an infant, Dean! That would be your area!” He said pointedly, then sighed, and went out to get the next pile of boxes.  
Dean was taken aback by Cas’ mockery, but he followed him anyway, and when they passed the door to the dungeon again, Dean grabbed his tee shirt and pulled him in.  
“What is it, Cas?” he held the angel in almost a hug.  
“Dean…” Cas tried to release himself from Dean’s grip, but eventually settled as he looked miserably at Dean.  
“I don’t get it,” Dean said, “you are such an old and powerful creature, Cas. I know we held some scary mofos in here, even had Crowley here for a while, but nothing you can’t take on with one hand tied behind your back…”  
Cas smiled at the confidence and faith Dean had in him, but dismissed it with a shake of his head. “Of course I am not afraid of the monsters,” he replied, “I am a seraph, I do not shy from a fight.” he stretched his full height in pride, then the air seemed to leave him a little when he continued quietly. “I still don’t like it here...”  
Dean stared at him. “Is this because of the Enochian hand-cuffs?.. You didn’t wear them for that long…”  
“No,” Cas admitted, “nothing that would ever be done to me could affect me in that manner.”  
“Then what are you talking about?”  
“You.”   
Dean’s confused look made Cas avert his eyes nervously. “You were held here as a demon, Dean, I had to watch you be tortured, restrained and screaming…”  
Dean gaped at him and pulled him closer as he continued.  
“I don’t care of my own suffering, I had felt it myself, my own vessel, my own pain. I know what it felt like, I endured it, and I am unbothered by it. But seeing you in pain, seeing you so distresses, not being able to ease your healing, it tore me. It was more unsettling than anything else I have ever experienced. And I never want to see you hurt again.”  
Dean pushed away to look at Cas’ sorrow struck face. “I was a demon at the time!” he tried to assure Cas, “It was necessary that I’d be restrained, it’s what got me cured. Well, you and Sam got me cured… but you catch my drift… I was rampaging the bunker going all Nicholson on your asses, you did what you had to do to get me better.”  
“I know,” Cas turned to look at the demon trap painted on the floor in the middle of the room, “but I still have very bad memories of this room…”  
“Well then.” Dean smiled at him devilishly. “We’ll just have to make you some good ones.” Dean tightened his grip on the angel’s waist, “And I can’t guarantee there won’t be any restraining and screaming, but I think you might like it this time…”

Dean gave Sam a hint of a warning that he and Cas were going to the dungeon that night and that whatever he may hear, he probably should not come check it out… He left while Sam was still laughing and faking gagging sounds.  
They walked into the dark space and Cas’ eyes immediately started darting around uncomfortably.  
Actually, Cas had been quite surprised and slightly mad at Dean even before they entered, for wearing the red overshirt, the same one he wore when they held his demon self in the dungeon. But Dean told him to trust him, and so he did.  
Dean dragged the sole chair in the room and Cas’ face contorted unpleasantly when he placed it in the middle of the demon trap in the same position it was then. Cas visibly cringed when Dean sat and pulled his hands behind his back.  
“Now tie me, Cas.” Dean instructed him, but the angel wouldn’t move.   
“It’s ok, you won’t hurt me.” Dean said softly, “This is not like last time. We’ll be in full control the whole time, and if something makes you uncomfortable or you wanna stop, all you have to do is say. Ok?”   
“Are you sure, Dean?” The angel sounded doubtful and perturbed.  
“Don’t worry, it’ll be fine.” Dean nodded at him. “I’m with you all the way.”  
Cas came behind him and bound him to the chair, as tight and as strong as it was when he was held there as a demon. Dean could not get free from these restrains as a demon, he would surely not be able to get free now that he was human.  
“Good.” Dean reassured him. “Now look me in the eyes, Cas.” he turned his head up to allow the angel to look at him closely. “See? They’re green, not black. Whenever you need to remind yourself that this is just play, you look me in the eyes and see it’s me, not the demon. Got it?”  
“Yes…” Cas said meekly and Dean could see some of the tension leaving his shoulders as he relaxed a little.   
“Good. You’re doing good.” Dean encouraged him. “Now sit.”  
Cas looked around them in confusion. “Dean, there is only one chair in here, and you are in it..”  
“I know..” Dean smiled. “C’mere…”  
Cas came closer and Dean gestured with his head towards his lap. It took a moment, but Cas nodded and straddled Dean, hugging him and gently gripping a fistfull of his hair to tilt his head backwards to look up into Cas’ deep blue eyes, and Cas kissed him deeply, pulling them close together.  
Dean sent out his tongue to invade Cas’ mouth and playfully dance with the angel’s tongue.  
For a few minutes, they just kissed. A slow, heated kiss, infusing lips and stubble and faces together to become one moving body of pulsing flesh.  
Then the contrast between the rolling of their mouths and the stillness of their bodies became unbearable, and Cas’ hips unconsciously started rolling as well, rubbing against Dean, rushing their blood, making them flush and groan as it arrived pleasantly to fill them out nicely.  
Soon they were rutting against each other and moaning into their kiss.   
When Cas pulled back to allow Dean to breath, the hunter’s smirk and darkened lustful eyes reminded Cas very much of the demon, and he jerked back with a panicked gasp.  
“Cas!” Dean couldn’t move, but his chin tried to chase Cas’ movement and his eyes rounded in concern. “Cas, it’s still me… Look at me. Really look at me. You won’t ever have to be afraid of me again, I promise...” he whispered, and the angel calmed a bit. “Are we good?”  
“I think…” Cas hesitated, “I think so.”  
“Good.” Cas was about to sit back in his lap, but Dean stopped him. “Wait.” He told the angel as he admired him for a few moments. “Strip.”  
“Dean - ”  
“I said…” Dean licked his lips and Cas practically vibrated with desire as Dean’s eyes were fixed on him hungrily, “Strip.”  
Cas took off his tee shirt hurriedly, but took his time unbuttoning and removing his jeans, especially when he noticed how intently his lover was studying his every curve and strained muscle.  
Finally, he stood before Dean in his boxers, half hard and waiting for Dean’s next instructions.  
Dean hummed in satisfaction, but when Cas took a step closer he warned the angel. “No, Cas. You’re not done yet. I wanna see you naked. Show me.”  
Cas averted his eyes as his skin grew a shade redder.  
“Oh, you blush so nicely....” Dean appreciated, “Tell me, angel, do you blush everywhere?” he winked, and Cas’ blush got even deeper.  
Cas tugged at his boxers and slowly slid them off his hips and down his legs, kicking them aside as his hands came to tentatively cover his erection. Dean tssked at him quietly and his hands obediently flew back to the sides of his body.  
Dean smiled widely at the exposed angel in front of him. “Turn. Show me.” And Cas complied immediately, enthralled by Dean’s gaze upon him, absorbed by his radiating need.  
“Come closer.” Dean’s voice came behind him, and Cas came to stand in front of him.  
“Closer.” Dean repeated, and Cas had to spread his legs to stand with Dean’s knees between his, towering over the bound hunter.  
“Closer.” Dean’s face was a mere inch from his crotch, Dean’s hot breath caressing his tender skin, sending jolts of pleasure to his twitching cock.  
Dean’s face was so close, so close to Cas’ erection. It was the first time he had ever seen another man’s cock so up close. He should have felt odd. He should have felt appalled by it. Ashamed. He guessed if it was any other man he probably would.   
But it was Cas. And all he wanted to do was be even closer to him. Touch him. Taste him.   
Dean bowed his head as forward as he could, and exploringly sent out his tongue to lick the head of Cas’ cock.   
A bead of wonderfully salty precum hit his taste buds and he hummed just as Cas threw his head back and moaned.   
He didn’t have to ask again, as Cas leaned into his touch and Dean was able to wrap his lips around the velvety skin, sucking lightly.   
He pulled his head away and looked up at the angel. “Let me taste you…”  
Cas shivered and cupped Dean’s face, looking down at him adoringly. “You are so beautiful.” he said and leaned down to kiss Dean, and then he straightened back and leaned in so Dean could take him in entirely.  
Dean bobbed his head as far as he was able, sucking and licking at the pulsing cock, eyes closed and mouth tight trying to take Cas as deep as he could. He had never done this before, but he knew what he liked and tried to give as good.  
Cas moaned and whimpered silently above him, caressing Dean’s hair trying very hard not to thrust in and hurt his lover accidentally. Dean hummed to encourage him to lose himself in his pleasure, but the angel refused to let go in his fear of discomforting him.  
Dean’s tongue was working around Cas’ cock, his lips playing with pressure and wetness, teeth occasionally grazing for extra stimulation, when he could feel Cas’ pulse suddenly rising, cock filling rock-hard, and the angel’s breath catching mid-inhale, Cas stilling for a moment before hot cum was filling Dean’s mouth in short spurts.  
He was a little startled at the sudden amount of gooey liquid in his mouth, so he wasn’t able to swallow it all and most of it came slowly trickling down his chin.   
Dean thought it was weird, but not unpleasant, until he saw Cas’ intrigued eyes transfixed on his cum-covered face and he felt his own cock getting even harder with arousal.  
He needed to be touched. He needed Cas’ skin on his. He had never wanted anything more in his life.   
“What do you want, Cas?” Dean asked with a voice hoarse with want.  
“You.”  
“Show me.”  
Cas pushed his shirts away, unbuttoned and unzipped him unceremoniously and quickly moved his boxer briefs to pull him out, not bothering with actually undressing him.  
He sent his hand behind himself to prepare himself, but stopped after a moment, his face clouded as he considered his thoughts.  
Then he turned, giving Dean full view of his ass as he stretched himself open for Dean and fuck if that didn’t turn Dean on even more.   
Dean was now gasping and panting, eager to get inside the hot tightness of Cas’ hole, sweating and uselessly writhing in his chair trying to thrust his hips at anything, swearing and dripping with precum, and he thought there was no way he was going to last long once he was inside Cas.  
Cas staggered a little with the effort and pleasure, and suddenly his ass was so close to Dean’s face. Without thinking, Dean leaned as far as he could to touch his lips to the pink, puckered skin, and “FUCK!” Dean had never heard Cas swear before, and so he did it again, and “OH, HOLY F…” Cas’ breath hitched and he leaned back even more, allowing Dean to put his entire mouth on his rim, licking into him, intoxicated on Cas’ responses.  
“OH, I NEED…” Cas breathed, and suddenly he was no longer on Dean’s face, but before Dean could mourn the loss Cas was sliding down to impale himself directly on Dean’s ready and slick cock.  
Cas placed his hands on Dean’s knees for support and set a vicious pace repeatedly sinking onto Dean, and this was definitely not going to last long…  
“Cas, slow down… I’m gonna… too fast… please… I can’t….” Dean could barely let the words out, breathing erratically and groaning loudly with every thrust, but Cas couldn’t seem to hear him, huffing and gasping, lips moving soundlessly.  
A string of curses left Dean’s mouth as he was feeling his guts coiling, preparing to erupt, the view of his own cock sliding in and out of Cas serving only to bring him even closer to his release.  
Then the angel gave a guttural growl and Dean could feel him clenching and squeezing around his cock, sending himself bursting with pleasure, everything going dark on him as he cried out Cas’ name in absolute shock, trembling with the intensity of his orgasm.  
His skin was tingling and sensitive for more than a few minutes after that, and he could actually see the glow coming off of both their bodies.   
Finally, Cas turned to hug him, still straddling his lap. Dean was disappointed he was still tied up so he couldn’t hug him back, but he placed a small kiss to Cas’ neck, where he could reach.  
“I think this would make a very good memory of this place.” Cas smiled at him. “This was very enjoyable.”  
Dean laughed and leaned his head forward, and the angel understood and kissed him contentedly.  
“I wouldn’t call that enjoyable…” Dean smirked. “Cas, that was mind-blowingly amazing…”  
Cas tilted his head. “I agree. Thank you, Dean.”  
Dean rested his head in the crook of Cas’ neck. “Anything to make you happy..”  
“Anything?..” Cas raised an eyebrow, and Dean nodded. “All I want is for you to be happy.” Cas said and kissed Dean’s temple.  
“Keep fucking me like that and I will be.” Dean nuzzled into him.  
They sat like that for a few more minutes, then Cas got up to untie Dean, but came back to straddle him before Dean had a chance to stand up.  
Dean shook his hands a little to renew his blood flow, then brought his arms to wrap around the still naked angel on his lap.  
“Are you feeling better? It wasn’t too much for you?” Dean wanted to make sure again.  
“Yes, I am fine.” Cas nodded, “And I appreciate your concern and your care for my well-being. Thank you.”  
“S’nothing…” Dean hugged him a little tighter.  
“You were right, Dean, I did like it very much. As much as I do not enjoy following orders any more, I seem to be very good at following yours, and you seemed to take great care to make me feel comfortable, and to make this pleasing for me.” Cas kissed him softly. “One may even say you were… emotionally invested in it.” he grinned at Dean wolfishly.  
“Yea, don’t get too excited about it.”  
“I love you, Dean.”  
“I’m still just horny…”  
Dean chuckled as Cas shoved him playfully before getting up and collecting his clothes.


	8. Dean’s room

Chapter 8 - Dean’s room

 

Dean was sitting at the small desk in his room with the new laptop Sam got him open in front of him. He was supposed to be researching for the hunt they were going on tomorrow, but he was staring blankly at his screen, not able to read a single word.  
His small… escapade… with Cas the night before left him more confused than he had been previously.  
He was finally willing to admit his attraction to Cas, the angel doing things to him that he had never felt before, so blissfully intense he was convinced they were… not natural.   
But there was more to it. He had always been very keen to be there for his friend and help out whenever he could, but now he was downright eager to do anything in his power for the angel to be happy. And the word ‘friend’ now seemed not quite fitting for them anymore.  
He had always been very protective over the people closest to him, but Cas… Cas had a place of his own in Dean’s heart. And the more he thought about it, the more he felt that it was quite a big place he had there.  
Trying to objectively analyze the situation, Dean thought, he was very fond of Cas, but then he also wanted to fuck him, and that, even he was willing to admit, did not fall under the category of friendship. Though it only happened twice so far, he had a feeling this was going to be a recurring thing. It was too damn good not to be.  
He was still having a hard time admitting more than friendship towards his angel, though, but as good as he was at ignoring the obvious, it was becoming too hard to dismiss the facts.   
He did miss Cas whenever he was not around him. Sometimes even while he was. He did take on every opportunity he could to touch Cas, and he did very much like it. He did start referring to Cas as HIS angel, he realized, and he did let Cas take a substantial part in his life. Not a guest in Dean’s life, but a constant. A welcomed participant in every aspect and every corner of Dean’ world. His sanctuary, much like his bedroom.  
His bedroom…   
The only place they hadn’t…   
He thought it was because Cas respected his space and his place of escape too much to invade it with their actions. The last standing post in Dean’s resistance to the thing between them.   
And Dean was happy like that. He was glad not to share that privacy with anyone. He needed that. So he thought.  
He realized he had been reading the same line for about half an hour now, and had to scroll up to read the last paragraph all over again, because his eyes were following the written words but his mind wasn’t registering them.  
“I think you’re reading in the wrong direction.” Cas’ amused voice came from the door.   
Dean looked in his direction to see the angel leaning on his door frame in his pajama pants and bare chested.  
“Hey, Cas.” Dean smiled at him. “Yea, my mind drifted a bit, I had to scroll up, I got a little distracted…”  
“I can’t imagine why,” Cas showed a hint of a smirk, “I wasn’t even here.”  
Dean laughed, the angel’s sense of sarcasm always surprised him, and Cas came in and placed a soft hand on the back of his neck.  
“Sam told me you were leaving tomorrow morning on a hunt.” Cas said. “I just wanted to wish you a good night and good luck on your hunt.” he lowered himself and kissed Dean’s lips.  
“Thanks.” The angel turned to go and Dean’s hand went up to catch him, but only brushed the skin of his back.   
“Cas…” he turned to look at Dean again and Dean couldn’t help a shudder at how gorgeous he was. “Why don’t you stay a couple minutes more?”  
Cas considered for a moment before coming back to hug the hunter’s shoulders. “Anything you like, Dean.”  
Dean got up from his chair and went to sit on the bed, taking Cas’ hand in his and leading him along with him.  
In no time they were kissing again, shallow, non-committal kisses, running their hands on the other’s skin.   
Cas knew this was the only place in the bunker, in the world actually, that was completely Dean’s and he was careful not to desecrate it. He wanted Dean to have his haven, a place that was only his. He knew how much Dean needed it, and he swore never to push the hunter again.  
So as they were sitting tangled at the edge of Dean’s bed, kissing slowly but full of intention, Cas tried to keep it just that. To leave room for Dean to stop in case he felt this was too much for him.  
But then the hunter pushed away to discard his shirt, and gently shifted to put more of his weight on to Cas, laying him down on the plush memory foam and moving one leg over Cas’ to keep him in place.   
Dean caressed his chest, working his way down to his stomach, to his hips and further into his pants to grab his behind.  
Several kisses later had them bucking into each other and grinding quietly against each other. Their kisses grew deeper and needier, though not desperate. They were taking their time, not rushing it this time.  
Dean’s hand, the one inside Cas’ pants, pushed the fabric down and away from his legs, leaving the angel naked.   
They were moving against each other, enjoying the sensation of skin on skin and then Dean was pushing his own pants off to leave no other garment to come between them.  
Dean trailed his lips over the angel’s jaw, his neck, his collar bones, ascending down his body in an agonizingly slow pace, leaving open mouth kisses and spots of hot air wherever he passed. Cas moaned and arched under his touch and writhed to be closer, always closer, to Dean’s mouth.  
He kept in mind that it should be Dean who sets the tone of their progression, but it was almost impossible when Dean was so thoroughly wrecking him with just the touch of his lips.  
They were both achingly hard by the time Dean sunk his nose in the fold at Cas’ hips, and the angel was lost to the wet touches as Dean’s tongue left moist paths along every crease of Cas’ skin.  
When he couldn’t take it anymore, he grabbed Dean and flipped them so he was on top. He aligned them together and was about to take them both in his fist, but Dean stopped his hand.   
“No.” Dean breathed into him, “Not like that.”  
Cas backed his hand immediately, and waited for Dean to move or say something.  
“Please, Dean, tell me what you want.” the angel pleaded. “I’d do anything for you, I love you, so much…”  
Dean closed his eyes at the angel’s words and held his breath for a moment. When he opened them, there was something in them that Cas had never seen before.  
“I want..” Dean held him tightly, and he seemed to struggle with what he wanted to say. “I want you.” he said finally. “Inside me.”  
Cas’ jaw dropped and he gasped at the hunter’s words.  
“Dean, are you sure?” Cas lifted himself to look at Dean wide eyed. Dean would never ask something like that.  
“Yes.” Dean kissed him hard, “Yes, I’m sure.”  
Cas crashed down on Dean’s lips with every emotion he had in him. This request, he knew, was not a whim, it was not spurred by the heat of the moment. It was not mere curiosity, or a way to try and please Cas.   
This. Allowing Cas into his bedroom. Allowing Cas into his body. This was the closest thing to ‘I love you’ Dean was ever going to give him.  
So he pulled Dean into his arms, trying to convey the flood of emotions through his actions, and could not let go for several minutes.  
“Come on, Cas,” Dean hid his face embarrassed as he spoke, “don’t make it into a big deal or anything…” he tried to diminish the weight of his request.  
Dean turned to his nightstand and took out a small bottle of lube. “No mojoing this time, ok?”  
Cas smiled and took the bottle. He positioned himself at Dean’s side, one of his legs slung over Dean’s keeping him spread, and poured some of the slick liquid onto his fingers. He brought his hand between Dean’s legs, never taking his eyes away from Dean’s face.  
He massaged the sensitive skin at Dean’s hole and gently pressed his finger into it to introduce him to the feeling, all along mumbling reassurances into Dean’s ear.  
Dean gasped at the unfamiliar sensation and Cas stopped immediately. He continued only after Dean instructed him to.  
He was slowly moving his finger in and out of Dean, the hunter’s breath hitching. At first Dean was too nervous to move, but as he got used to the sensation and his muscles relaxed he started chasing Cas’ finger more willingly.  
Cas added another finger, and after a while another, until Dean was moving in rhythm with Cas’ hand at his rim smoothly and effortlessly.  
“Cas…” Dean moaned, “I want… I want YOU…”  
Cas took out his fingers and coated his cock with some more lube. He moved to sit between Dean’s legs and aligned himself, never stopping the constant mumble of reassurances and encouragements at his lover, and then he pushed through the tight ring of muscles very slowly, stopping every few seconds to allow Dean to adjust, until he was all the way in.  
Dean could barely keep still, but the angel held his hips to stop his movements. He had to make sure Dean was all right, even if the hunter didn’t himself.  
After a few seconds he started moving, slowly, inside Dean. The sound it elicited out of both of them was more than any of them could handle.   
Broken breaths and silent whimpers, fingers digging into flush skin and the whisper of their names on the other’s lips were muffled and chaste.   
There was no urgency in their motions, not chasing their release but engulfed in the moment and each other, soaking in the pleasure of their physical as well as their emotional intimacy.  
But then Dean slightly changed his position and with the next slide of Cas’ cock it hit something inside him and OH, GOD… His vision blurred and his guts clenched and an overwhelming jolt of delight exploded inside him and OH, SHIT! This is too much… Cas’ cock was hitting his prostate with every thrust now, and Dean could not control his hips as he pushed to meet Cas’ thrusts with his own.  
Cas felt it, and set a faster pace now, harder, pounding relentlessly into Dean, both groaning and growling into each other.  
Cas pushed up to move a hand to grab Dean’s untouched cock, but Dean pushed his hand aside. “No, like that. I wanna come on your dick..”  
It was no more than a few thrusts later that Dean’s eyes pressed shut and he mouthed Cas’ name as he came all over his stomach with a low grunt.  
Cas followed a moment later, filling Dean’s hole with his seed and his ears with his adoring words.  
They were still regulating their heartbeats and coming down from their euphoria when Dean lifted Cas’ face to look at him. “Stay here tonight.”  
“Of course, Dean.”   
They lay like that for some time, Dean carding his fingers through Cas’ messed hair and Cas resting his head on Dean’s chest relaxing as he listened to his hunter’s heartbeat.  
If this was it, Cas thought, if this was what their day to day would look like from now on, he would be extremely happy. This is all he could ever wish for. He did not need a single thing beyond this.  
Dean letting him in this way, the last of his defences dissolving, he knew exactly the enormity of what just happened.  
“Cas?” Dean turned towards him, “I think.. I think we should do this more often. You staying here, I mean.” Dean paused, and fiddled with Cas’ hair for a few seconds. “I think.. I think I love you.”  
Cas smiled. He had never been happier to be wrong in his life.  
“I love you too, Dean.” he pressed a kiss to Dean’s lips.  
Dean was boiling internally. He said it. He actually said it. He told Cas he loved him. He knew he feared these three words more than anything else. More than any monster or creature they ever hunted. More than losing his family. More than Sam.  
Because knowing it and admitting it were two different things. And by saying it he was giving Cas everything, the ultimate power over himself, letting go of all his walls, baring himself naked in every sense, and there was no going back.   
He should be feeling afraid. He should be panicking, trying to make a joke to avoid dealing with the reality of it, but all he could feel was calm. Complete. Confident that if he was ever to put his happiness in the hands of another person, Cas would be it and he would never abuse this privilege. Cas would always put his happiness above everything else, and Dean would do the same for his angel.  
Happiness...  
Ah, fuck it. He WAS happy.


End file.
